I’m going to write this up front here and hope people don’t take it the wrong way.  Lately, within the last six months or so, I’ve been getting at least two or three requests a week from authors to blurb their books – a very unexpected development.  What with writing and work and family, I don’t have enough hours in the day to get them done in a timely fashion in order to get the blurbs in to the publishers by the due date.  My policy has always been to only blurb the books I really like, but the problem is I’m getting a lot of books that look really good to me.  Still, I can’t blurb them all.  To accommodate everyone would be to make any blurbs I do meaningless (or let’s make that “more” meaningless).  I’ve decided to blurb only four books a year from now on, granted I am sent four I like.  When I do my four, I’m done for that year, and I don’t open shop for blurbage again till the next year.  Then, it’s first come, first serve.  I doubt anyone will be reaching for a hanky as a result of this announcement, but I wanted to say something here so as to relieve my guilt at not getting the job done when the books come in.  After this post, I’ll probably not get many more.  I started doing this in 06 and only ended up blurbing 6 books.  What can I say?  06 was a remarkable year for story collections.  This year I intend to get it down to 5 at the most, heading for an actual 4 in 08.  I hate turning writers whose work I admire down, but I’ve decided it’s the right thing to do.  I especially hate turning down requests from newer writers whose work I’ve been tracking and enjoying and learning from. I’m not so vain as to think that my words on the backs of their books are really going to help them sell more copies.  I just feel it’s a palpable way to lend encouragement, to say, “Hey, I’m with you.”  This isn’t exactly the equivalent of gold bullion, but it’s something.  I know blurbage is a publishing tradition, but it’s kind of ridiculous too.  The simple reason is – who’s going to put a less than stellar blurb on their book?  Does it really sway readers? Granted, it actually pays to get a blurb from Stephen King or Neil Gaiman, as their many readers trust them and are people who buy books.  With a Ford blurb, though, the benefits are much more nebulous.  I can see a guy standing in Barnes and Noble, scanning the publicity on the back of a book.  He sees my name attached to a blurb and thinks – “Who is this nimrod?  Oh, yeah, he wrote some mess about a planet made of ice cream and Mrs. Shadook in the Glass.  Good Christ.  I’ll wait till it comes out in paperback.”  Very rarely, but sometimes, blurbing a book is better for the blurber than it is for the blurbee.  I got asked once to give a quote for a novel by Gene Wolfe.  Wolfe needs my blurb like he needs a hole in his pocket, but I dug the opportunity to give one – I won’t deny.  I have to laugh at all of this a little, as out of all the books I’ve written, I only ever got one author’s blurb.  It was from Jonathan Carroll for Mrs. Charbuque.  If I’m only to ever get one, I’m elated it’s from Carroll, a guy who strikes me as someone who wouldn’t give a blurb to a book he didn’t think was good even if you had a gun to his head.  So, if you send me a book, and I tell you I can’t blurb it because I’m past my quota, I’m probably telling you the truth.  Luckily, I have my livejournal and I try to give some space there to the ones that look good that I can’t comment on because I’ve run out of blurbs for that year (again, who knows if putting them on the journal is doing anyone any good).  What do you think of blurbs?  What has been your experience with them?  Though I generate them, I have my doubts about their general efficacy, but, on the other hand, maybe we should embrace the blurb culture and put blurbs on everything.  Like maybe Rumsfeld could do one for the bug spray Raid – “This shit’s responsible for nearly as many deaths as I am.  Keep a can handy in your purse or glove compartment.”

Update:  Chris Rowe has been kind enough to blurb this post --

This post is the work of a LiveJournaler at the top of his game. Brimming with the wit and confidence we've come to expect from Ford, he also ably demonstrates that he's still working for us, still thinking with the depth and concentration that arise from an ultimately uncritical adoration of story. Ford goes into the dark places, and brings back the light, usually with some toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

--Christopher Rowe, 1987 Adair County High School Driver's Education Award Winner (boys division)

Update 2:  "A Chirs Rowe blurb rises with a certain graceful, allienated majesty, like a bubble in honey, to break upon the consciousness with a new aroma of profundity. "